Tag: disney

Escape to Trader Sam’s

Escape to Trader Sam’s

Saturday August 5th

All week I had been seeing posts for the “Who’s its and Whats it’s” pop-up shop at the Anaheim Gardenwalk. I love supporting “small shops” that make their own Disney merch so I was really excited to go check it out.

I’ve been to the Gardenwalk several times, usually to eat dinner at P.F. Chang’s. We did exactly that first and foremost. I was hungry from doing that dreaded Saturday cleaning. P.F. Chang’s was delicious as usual. While their I asked Adam if he’d be down to go to Trader Sam’s/Downtown Disney to kill some more time, he said sure.

After dinner we made a beeline to the pop-up shop which was only a few doors down from P.F. Chang’s. They had SO MANY cute things. Unfortunately for me a lot of people went the opening day (Friday the 4th) and snagged most of the stuff in my size. 😦 It was probably all for the best because I would have spent WAY too much money in there!

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I did manage to snag this cute Little Mermaid Shirt


We walked around a bit more…

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Then it was off to Downtown Disney!

We made a another beeline for Trader Sam’s at the Disneyland Hotel. If you have never been there, YOU MUST. It’s probably my favorite bar, ever! The atmosphere is a Disney-infused Jungle Cruise themed Tiki Bar and the drinks are amazing!

 

Trader Sam’s is always jampacked with people, especially on a Saturday. We were trying to find a place to stand near the bar when I felt a tap on my hand. I turned around and this young couple asked if we wanted to sit at their table with them. I jumped at the chance for a seat!

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Trader Sam’s is covered in fun decor

They actually turned out to be super nice. The guy was originally from Cali but they were both located in Orlando now and both worked for the theme parks. (He worked for Universal and she worked for Disney.) They were major Disney fans like Adam and I so we had a blast trading “insider” tips to the parks. They really helped point us to some “can’t miss” places at Walt Disney World and I was so grateful! WDW is VERY overwhelming when you’re trying to plan and you’ve never been before. 

I should have really got their full names or at least added them on a social media site. Too many drinks and too much fun and I wasn’t thinking straight. I hope, somehow, we run into them when we go to WDW.

After 3 drinks we threw in the towel at Sam’s (mostly because we were getting close to our free parking limit..) and walked around Downtown Disney. Amazingly I managed to only buy one thing!

Adam went to use the restroom and I gingerly wandered into Marceline’s Confectionary. (a place with so much delicious stuff I try to avoid it at all cost). But my drinks had me in a, “treat yo self” mode so off i went. 

I ended up getting a s’mores on a stick which is funny because today is National S’mores Day! I just celebrated a few days early. 😉 After I devoured the chocolatey-marshmallowy goodness we headed back to my place. 

 

This week they announced changes to the Downtown Disney parking. Though we rarely go to Downtown Disney and not eat at a sit-down place, so it won’t affect us too much. I think it’s pretty easy to spend $20 there but it still sucks that it’s not “free” anymore. Glad we got to take advantage of the free parking one last time!

Michelle Branch at the El Rey

Michelle Branch at the El Rey

As I’ve mentioned I’m a huge music fan. One of my favorite hobbies is seeing my favorite artists live. I touched upon that in my post, “My thoughts on Manchester”. Music means A LOT to me.

Michelle Branch at the El Rey 7/25/17

Michelle was probably the first artist I was ever completely obsessed with. I know she wasn’t the first singer-songwriter but she was the first one that really caught my attention. I’d never seen a female, my own age, write their own songs, sing and play guitar.

I remember being in high school and wanting to buy a guitar SO BAD after Michelle came on the scene. But I never did, not until over 10 years later. She was also the first artist I ever saw live. I remember I was just in awe of her. I saw her at the House of Blues on Sunset when she was touring for “Hotel Paper”. Everything about that experience was a novelty. “I’m going to HOLLYWOOD to a CLUB to SEE my favorite artist!!! Wow!” This was long before the smart phone, so the memory just lives in my brain.

When I saw her at the EL Rey in Los Angeles she was still super talented, amazing and had me in awe. I was such a different person when I last saw her on so many levels. I couldn’t have even imagined all the twist and turns I’d be in for in life. So the juxtapositon of those two versions of myself (old and current) was really eye opening for me.

In my own musical pursuits I have been trying to get back to the mental space of my youth (i.e. grade school). Before all the major hurts and doubts that gave me my, “art scars”. But the strange thing is that seeing her live REMINDED me why I fell in love with all of it in the first place. WHY I wanted to do it so bad so long ago. The clarity in that got really lost and muddled in adulthood. But seeing her again transported me back to my young 20-something self and it all became a little clearer.

Seeing her took me back into that same place I was at the House of Blues. It was like I remembered the primary reason why I wanted to create. I love how she can express her innermost feelings through song. That’s what I love about music as a whole. But this was the first person I saw, that I really admired, do it live and I think that’s why it was so powerful for me, then and now. As I wrote on Instagram it was a complete, “Simba, remember who you are..” moment. Except the voice was telling me, “Remember….!”

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I’ve never truly pursued music because of fear. My anxieties are endless but my desire to express this part of me is endless as well. My inclination to follow this path doesn’t go away.  It’s been with me as long as I can remember and no matter how much I try to ignore it, it persists. Maybe this reminder will finally help me get my ass in gear.

It calls me….

It calls me….

Have you ever been able to do something but had the inability to show others you could in fact do that something?  So much so that you actually start doubting you can really do it? “No”? “Yes”? “What the hell are you talking about”?

I’ve mentioned before how I have two voices in my head that constantly battle each other. One says, “We got this!” the other says, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! STOP IT!” Guess who always wins. But when I’m alone, the loud voice shuts up and I sing freely.

I grew up on Disney songs, my first CD was The Little Mermaid soundtrack, then Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, Pocahontas..you get the picture. And I practiced singing them non-stop. No one ever said I was good though. i thought I sounded alright… but no one ever said it. Then bullies, adolescence fast forward and my singing became this thing I only did in my car, an empty house or a hotel room shower.

I’ve taken vocal lessons slightly over a year now. And I’ve tried to learn several different songs with varying degrees of sort of success. I could never walk in there and “strut my stuff”. I started to believe I lacked stuff TO strut.

Do you know HOW MANY TIMES I told myself, “I’m going to ask to sing, “A Whole New World” from Aladdin. Literally I’d think about this all week, be driving to class and freak the fuck out and not say a word about it. The thing is I could sing “A Whole New World” damn good even as a kid when the movie came out. Once my ex best friend accused me of lip-syncing when I completely wasn’t (I was 10…). Out of all the Disney songs I love that one and Mulan’s, “Reflection” (movie version) are probably the ones I do best.

But I never had the balls to step into class and attempt these songs. Because HELLO these are Disney songs. That’s not just singing Taylor Swift that SINGING. If I couldn’t even do a Taylor song what business did I have walking in there attempting a Disney song? BTW, this is my internal monologue you are now viewing. Brutal huh?

I hadn’t seen Moana because when it came out I had JUST started my new job and Adam was in Europe and I was too stressed out to do anything. I am obsessed with the water I knew I would instantly love it, I don’t know why I avoided it so long.

A week before I saw the movie (Which was about 2 weeks ago), so 3 weeks ago, something made me listen to the title track, “How far I’ll go”. I had heard clips of it but never actually listened. I was OBSESSED instantly. It hit me like, “Part of your world” had hit me so so many years ago. I listened to it over and over and sang it over and over. Literally that day I first heard it I sang it the entire way home. And I thought I was doing a pretty good job. But of course my brain would not allow for such thoughts to stay in my head long. “You sound good because no one can hear you, you suck”.

I saw the movie the new week, instantly obsessed again. The story just hit me like those old school Disney movies had. (TLM, BATB…). Shortly after I ended up alone in my house. A big struggle for me has been stage fright and letting people hear me. Even videoing myself is super hard for me. I get nervous even with THAT. But I kept trying to get comfortable with it. I took one that sounded ok..and sent it to my BF Adam, the only person I really trust with this…somewhat. lol

Then I did something insane, insane to me, I posted that video on instagram. It wasn’t my best, but it was almost like I had to face that fear. Of letting people hear me and NOT being perfect. Just letting myself heard, period. That was my only goal with it. The world did not end, I did not fall apart. And even though 2 weeks later my knee-jerk reaction is to “Delete that!” I wont let myself based on principal. If I can’t show this side of myself I will never be happy.

So as I said, countless, endless, pretty much every time I went to class I thought about trying one of those Disney classics…and backed down. But yesterday I decided I was going to try it. Well not a classic but, “How far I’ll go”. My regular teacher isn’t there but her sub is super nice too. I even printed out the words. The funny thing is the first thing my teacher told me when I walked in, “Maybe we should work on two songs, do another one too.” Oh universe, you are HILARIOUS. So I suggested, “How far I’ll go” and busted out the lyrics I already had printed out.

Then I did it, I was nervous as hell and wasn’t my best, but I wasn’t my worst either. I navigated that song way better then any other song I had attempted in the last year. So we kept working on different elements and I tried it again and again. The final time she was genuinely surprised and said I had done so well. That I had all of the notes I just had to work on my projection. But that I did awesome and that I ,”Kept surprising her”.

Do you know how long I have waited for someone to tell me I really could do this? That it wasn’t so made up thing I could only do in my head. No, I really can sing that song and I can probably sing all the other ones well too. But just that moment of validation, unaided validation. I cried on the way home. I have waited over 20 years for that moment. For someone to say, “You CAN do this.” Honestly, words can’t even describe it.

“One day I’ll know
How far I’ll go”

My problem with self discipline

This week I was determined to A. go the the gym 3x (M,W,F) and B. actually SING at my voice lesson. Ever since I got sick my classes have sucked, I don’t know if it’s my throat or my brain…but my last few lessons were really bad imo.

Sunday night I didn’t sleep good. I work at an NPR station and we are having a pledge drive this week, which is when I’m at my busiest! So I went to work tired, worked my ass off and STILL went to the gym.

Sounds great until you hear that I went to this YUMMY hot dog place in Pasadena called Dog Haus for lunch with my co-worker/buddy Crystal. I ate so BAD but it was so good. So with my workout I’d be lucky if I broke even. :/ #fail

Tuesday was another bad eating day with my BF but I did go to class and sang much better then the previous weeks. So that was a half-win.

Wednesday I had FULL intention of going to the gym. My work is in-between my bf’s and the gym. I park near the gym and take the Metro 10min to work because parking in Pasadena is HORRIBLE. So, when we go places my bf usually picks me up from work. ANYWAY, so he picks me up from work, drops me off at my car, we drive to the gym I get out of my car and pop open my trunk….no gym clothes.

The bag is still sitting on the floor of my room. I completely forgot the grab them in the morning. #fail We had dinner and I went home and did some pilates but it was not the cardio I wanted to do.

I’m really bad when it comes to eating healthy, working out AND practicing my guitar/voice. I get so lazy after work or when I get home. And eating, oh lordy (haha #comeyday..), I eat terrible. I love everything bad for me. WINGS and MARGARITAS especially. Take me to BWW and give me both and I’m in heaven.

But I really want to get back into shape, for a couple reasons. 1. I have a 5k & 10k in September at Disneyland. 2. I BOOKED A DISNEY WORLD VACATION FOR MY BIRTHDAY! Sorry for the bold, all caps, but I’m beyond excited to go. It’s my FIRST time EVER! And I’m going the day before my birthday!!! I’m going to Disney world for the first time on my birthday guys?! How amazing is that?

Oh and I forgot shopping! I’m a Disney-holic/t-shirt holic so now trying to save money for Disney World and not spend money for the trip to Disney world (like shirts and ears..) is another thing I must discipline myself on.

Telling myself “No” and not saying, “Fuck it” are really hard. But I’m trying guys, this also falls in with my last post about becoming the person I want to be. Getting in shape, working on my music and spending money on things that really matter to me (instead of random crap) are all things I need to be doing to be that person…but they’re hard! *whiney voice*

I’d love to end this post with a wisdom filled nugget but meh. I’m just here trying to do my best. Trying to walk a little more towards my goals so when I take those few steps back it doesn’t feel so bad.

Are you good at self discipline? Have you become better at it as time goes on? Tips? Tricks? They’re Always welcome.

RunDisney Tinker Bell 10k

RunDisney Tinker Bell 10k

Prior to the Tink 10k I’d done 2 other RunDisney races. The 2016 Disneyland 5k was my first and the Star Wars lightside 5k was my second. This was my first time attempting the 10k distance.

When I was signing up for the race and realized it was the day before mothers day, that made me pick the 10k vs the 5k. I thought, “I can do it for my Mom!” It sounded like a lovely sentiment and since you register so far in advance I thought I’d have plenty of time to prepare. Right?

Then I had the bright idea to change my job and change my entire schedule. Long story short, I was NOT fully prepared when the day crept up on me. I had started training some but then I got sick the week before and didn’t work out once. . This made me a little nervous.

Friday May 12th I had to go pickup my bib from the Health and Fitness expo at the Disneyland hotel. I’d never picked up my stuff on a Friday and I’ll probably never do it again, there was WAY more traffic then Thursday. It took us forever to get into the Expo and once again I didn’t get to look around much. :/ That seems to always happen!

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Cool castle photo op with my bib
I got my bib and then I hit the official merch spot. It wasn’t nearly has crowded as it had been for the Star Wars half weekend. I went a little merch crazy because HELLO I was gonna run my first 10k! (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Aside from the stuff below I also got ANOTHER shirt that said, “I did it!”, a magnet that said the same and a cute bandana that is M.I.A. at the moment.

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Official race shirt and cute Tink shirt

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I heard someone complaining that they didn’t like the lost boy theme for the 10k but I did. I thought it was perfectly fitting actually, I feel like a lost girl sometimes. Last minute I had ordered a shirt from an Etsy/instagram seller to run in. I love it!

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We had dinner at Tortilla Joe’s, the wait wasn’t too bad for being Friday. They quoted us an hour but it was only 45min. And it got our parking validated. While we were waiting I went to Wonderground Gallery and bought the new HerUniverse tank. I missed the Ashley’s by like 20min! I also bot a postcard by another artist.

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Wonderground Gallery purchases

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Dinner at Tortilla Joe’s in Downtown Disney

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This dog looks like Reggie IMO

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Reggie is ready for his race
We got back late and I went to bed even later. Come 3:45am I did not want to get out of bed! If i hadn’t bought all that merch I might not have, lol.

We got there, I got to my corral and off I went. I have to say that the first two miles were the WORST. Because I was having a mild freak out attack that I had to do 6. I literally had to refocus on WHY I was even doing this…my mom. I thought about my mom and my sister and listened to my music and it carried me through the race. I didn’t fly through it but I was at least a minute under the minimum pace. Hey, not bad for someone that was coughing her brains out even days earlier!

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Before my corral went

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Matterhorn at sunrise

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Paradise Pier at sunrise

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Note the difference in my face lol

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This person in the yellow is chill and I’m ready to pass out, lol

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Victory!
Crossing that finish line was TRUE accomplishment. I also thought of my mom and it made me super emotional, I almost started crying when they gave me my medal. I had made it through, somehow. I couldn’t have done it without Adam’s love and support. Who else would get up for me at 3:45am on a Saturday?!

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Overall it was a wonderful experience. But I swear next time I’m going to train more. I’m supposed to do the Disneyland 5k AND 10k in September. Please don’t ask me what I was thinking when I signed up…I was reading this motivational book and…things just… happened.

MMM Mail day: Pops! and a TLM Bikini

My day went by ok, I had a training in the morning, I learned my work style via DISC. The afternoon was slow and I literally had to drag myself to the gym by the end of the day. I’m supposed to run the Tinkerbell 10k this Saturday at Disneyland. To say I’m unprepared is a gross understatement.

It’s only 90% my fault though, I would have been a lot better of if I hadn’t gotten sick last week. “Pray for Mojo”, Simpsons fans will get that…

Anyway after a good workout and dinner with Adam (my bf) I came home to two packages. Yay, happy mail! 🙂 When I was sick last week I kinda went on an online shopping frenzy.

Funko Pop! HT Exclusive Cruella de Vil and Ursula
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I had the chance to buy this when it was on the Hot Topic website and I waited too long. Then it was gone and I couldn’t find it anywhere. So, I got it off ebay. I pretty much paid exactly what I would have paid from HT so I wasn’t too mad. I don’t usually collect villains but these were too cool to miss. Now I need Maleficent!

Hot Topic Ariel Bikini
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To say I’m obsessed with The Little Mermaid is another understatement. I had resisted this bikini for a long while until they put it on sale this past Saturday. I also had a $5 off coupon so I had to have it. I dunno when I’m going to wear it…but just happy it’s in the collection. 🙂


Tomorrow I have my vocal class after work, so I really should get to bed ASAP. I haven’t seen my teacher in 3 weeks because her schedule is tough to match up with mine. Also, I cancelled last week because I literally had NO VOICE due to being sick. Now I know how Ariel felt. :p

I have no clue what I am doing…

I have no clue what I am doing…

Usually I’ll buy a t-shirt on a whim, not a domain name and blog. That’s a new one. A long time ago in another land I had a domain name and a little hosted website. It was about shopping. Done in crude HTML and pastel blue and hot pink, the site was me rating my favorite places to shop. Back then I think I had a better handle on the chaos, feeling totally lost and inept didn’t bug me. Right now I’m having a mini heart attack cause I can’t figure out how to even set up a blog.

Is that what “growing up” does to you? Makes you afraid to venture out of your comfort zone and try new things. Well, I don’t know about YOU but it sure as hell did that to me. Somewhere in my late teens I decided I couldn’t do anything anymore, and I stopped learning new things. I went  a step further and I just stopped being myself. I was in a shithole relationship but I can hardly keep blaming that. (Catch me on a bad night and I will be…)

Everyone’s life can be a beautiful glossy highly pigmented instagram post. Mine is no exception, I have these moments of beauty, clarity and joy. I also have moments of feeling like utter shit, completely lost and feeling totally incapable of “adulting”. What is the reality then? Because I choose not to post pictures of me sobbing in the corner because I’m missing my mom/sister on insta make me inauthentic? Or does the fact that I’m a staunch feminist who happens to ADORE Disney princesses and Barbie make me a bad feminist? WHY DO WE CONSTANTLY HAVE TO BE PUT IN A BOX? Goddamnit.

I’ve honestly had this internal struggle since I was a teenager. I used to be very anti-makeup. I felt makeup was FAKE and a MASK and your true beauty should always shine through and it was anti-girlpower blah blah. “Oh wait, makeup hides zits? Hold the phone….ok well, it’s not so bad..hey my eyes look awesome in eyeliner, omg AQUA eyeshadow?!” By the time I was in my 20’s and drowning in MAC I had a much different opinion on it all.

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE OURSELVES. So I am a happy, depressed, fairytale loving feminist, who wants to just be herself in a world that loves to shove you in a box. Now please, I am unique cause every person is but I don’t claim to be this unconventional person either. I’m just myself, whoever the hell that is.

So I’ll just say it, some days my life will be totally insta-worthy and cool, other days I’ll be depressed af. I just want a space where I can be both. I just want a space where I can be ME. I’m still looking for my place in this world, and I’m still becoming whoever I was I was meant to be.

Hi, my name is Malinda and I have NO CLUE what I’m doing.